15 things I’ve learned my Freshman year of High school
1. Some people are not worth it.
2. Some people are.
3. Whatever you put into something is what you get out of it
4. Occasionally, it’s better to just shut up and mind your own business
5. People will change and evolve and it’s not always for the better.
6. Some days, the full night’s sleep is worth more than the home work grade.
7. A year is so much quicker than it sounds.
8. Relationships will change people.
9. Death doesn’t give a fuck about what your schedule looks like.
10. People are not kittens - do not try to save them
11. Teenagers are reckless beings.
12. You are the villain is somebody else’s story.
13. Drink some damn water.
14. Only you can improve things for yourself
15. If you have no more to say, stop speaking.
Last night I broke down a little, I looked down at my body and I truly felt disgusted by the fact that my body isn’t female like I am. It’s a cruel joke. I tell myself every day that I will change that soon enough, which I know is true, but sometimes telling yourself that things are going to get better just isn’t good enough. Sometimes, you just have to cry until you can’t breathe. I felt alone. Completely alone. With every cell in my body I know that to transition is truly what I want. No amount of hardship will hold me back from achieving this for myself. But until I can begin the journey with hormone replacement therapy, I am quite frankly lost. I have no therapist or people around me that get what I am going through. I’m tough, and I know I am, and I will be for all of the people that look up to me as a role model for what I’m doing with my case against the dmv. I am lost, but I’m not losing hope or wavering my faith for once in my entire life. I am ready now. Not tomorrow. So how can I be happy when who I see in the mirror is not who I really am? I need someone to numb me again, until I can achieve…me.